Friday, May 28, 2010

Testing

I wish it were always this easy.
Avonlea and Grant had state testing yesterday and today for their appropriate grade levels.
They went into a room full of other home schooled children, whipped out their pencils and scrap paper, and tried their best.
I, with about 40 other harassed women, corrected their papers at the end today. I put a transparent sheet with the correct answers on top of their paper and marked the ones that didn't match up. So simple.
The tests showed what I already knew; sometimes the wrong answer looks like the right one.

Sometimes I wish the multiple choice questions of life had less options. Sometimes I wish I had the answer key and I could follow the pattern and adjust the mistakes. Sometimes I wish I could just go Home and not answer anymore questions. Sometimes I wish that I knew, what I know now, when I was in second grade (I'd show them).
Sometimes I think of life in this scenario. God, heavy ink pen in hand, leaving a Holy blot where the correct answer should have been. Filling in my percentile, "Annie is better than 33% of other Christians." Jotting my grade level, "She completed the test for a 35 year old but tested at about 27." Commenting, "Retake gentleness and self-control. Do a refresher in perseverance. Scores in loving were so low she better just forget it, no one can do everything!"

No wonder our nation's philosophy on education is dancing to the mantra of "There are no wrong answers!"

Reading through Job this week in school has brought testing to the forefront of our minds. Watching my children sweat and squirm and doubt themselves has looked all too familiar to me. My own words haunt, "This is not the accumulation of who you are." Because in a sense, the tests/trials we go through ARE an accumulation of who we are and who we will become.
So I pray for grace in the days of testing. Peace over the problem-solving. Wisdom, to live what God's Word has said. Perseverance, to dig deeper into God's word. Faith, to know that God forgives and He grades on the curve of Jesus. Hope, to finish with joy.

"But he knows the way that I take; when he has tested me, I will come forth with a 100%"
Job 23:10

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