Our family has been sick continually for almost 2 months now. We've had everything from staph to strep to stomach flu.
I am weary.
Weary of medicating, weary of changing sheets, weary of being patient with short tempers and fevers. Weary of the bother of it all. It seems the more weary I get the more selfish I allow myself to become. Tears of self pity are in abundance as I say the hollow words to my husband, "I'm tired." Sob.
Last week we held a five day club at our house. I really didn't want to, I felt the energy level of it was beyond me. But my children knew that there are changes going on with the government housing across the street from us and it's very likely that all the people that are there right now, won't be there next year.
"It might be their last chance to hear about Jesus mommy." Avonlea's words rankled.
She was right.
They came pouring into the yard on Monday afternoon to be welcomed by the friendly staff of Child Evangelism Fellowship.
And I felt again, acutely, the pangs of labor.
I began a circuit around the main floor, praying audibly, pacing relentlessly.
I paced and prayed for the lives that were coming.
For the precious spiritual birth of the children.
As I prayed for others, my weariness slipped quietly away, melting like snow in the sunlight.
Newness for me as well.
I remembered again, that "His yoke is easy and His burden is light," and that storing treasures in Heaven, is a work of intensity. Passion. But when I get caught up in the work, or the passion, or the intensity of the work, I miss the joy of being caught up in Him. Seeing the bigness of Jesus working in our neighborhood, reminded me of the littleness of me. The work is too heavy for me alone. Certainly I am too frail to bear up under the demands of many illnesses, or neighborhood evangelism, but He is not, and I was not made to be alone.
I watched the hope of Christ growing in the eyes of the children, and I was renewed.
"He who was seated on the throne said, "I am making everything new!" (Rev. 21:5)