We were at the cottage and I was having nightmares.
First, I woke up after being pursued down a forest trail by a wolf and a bear.
Then, I was at Avonlea's wedding reception, a kind of glorified birthday party in our yard, and I couldn't see the groom's face. (OK, you may not think this sounds like a nightmare, but it was right up there with bears and wolves.) I saw Avonlea, beautiful and grown, riding a pony around the yard in her wedding dress, but I couldn't find the groom. I didn't know who she married.
After that, I fell into another nightmare. A little voice chanted even numbers. Then multiples of 5, then 10. Oh no, she's starting into 7's. (Again, if you don't think this qualifies as a nightmare you've obviously never done math with Rose. Wolves and bears are nothing in comparison my friend.) Wait, she doesn't need to know 7's yet. This thought jerked me awake. I listened and realized that it wasn't a nightmare, Rosy was actually counting in the next room.
I investigated and found Rowan, with a lapful of math manipulatives, quizzing Rose.
"What in the world are you guys doing?" I asked.
Rowan piped up, "I thought I'd work with Rose so that she wouldn't stress you out so bad in math."
He had made her counting sheets and practice worksheets, laboriously copied out by hand. He had been drilling her for an hour by the time I woke up.
If you recall, three years ago I wrote a blog post entitled He's Five and I'm Still Alive. And that about summed it up. Rowan was a very difficult child. He was sick a lot. He had a 50% hearing loss. He had allergies. He woke up 4 or 5 times every night. His temper was a thing to be reckoned with. But all that has changed.
If you would have told me how utterly sweet and sensitive he would become I probably wouldn't have believed you. I recognize the change for what it truly is, the work of God in my child's life.
Rowan is delightful. He loves to wear hats.
He loves his grandparents.
He loves to go fishing.
He loves his brother.
And as I look at the amazing contrast in his life I am reminded that nothing is too hard for God.
When I took a situation that felt overwhelming to me and gave it to the Lord and learned to pray hard and love hard and forgive hard things I was changed, and so was Rowan. Rowan recently told me that he wanted to be a pastor when he grew up so he could teach people to love Jesus more and tell them what the Bible says. I don't know what he will become, but I know what he is, and through him I know God better than I did.
Thank you God for my precious son!