On Friday I told my woes of mating cats and a new story emerged. A friend worked with a dog breeder. She told how male studs were worth thousands of dollars and how a female could damage a male by pulling away too soon. So...she had to sit with the dogs and hold them together until the act was consummated. Wow. I had to watch the cats but never assist. She held out her hands and said, "sometimes I would just think, what am I doing here!" But her madness had method and the goal was new birth; life.
This week I have echoed her sentiments. The fevers have soared, the coughs racked little bodies, reams of tissues clog every waste basket, Avonlea has broken every blood vessel in her face, once again, vomiting. I throw my hands out and ask, "What am I doing here?" They need a nurse or at least someone awake and naturally compassionate! It's not the first time I've asked this question.
When allergies descended and I was left to bake a birthday cake with oats and maple syrup.
When I called poison control and gave my last name and they replied, "Oh, Rowan's mom?"
When the math problems were all wrong and they replied, "But mom, you helped me with them!"
When my four year old told me I need to talk in a big boy voice.
When the days are long and utterly demanding and I think, I wasn't trained for this! I can do ballet, write poetry, sing, tell stories but this.............
And I remember, "So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal." (2 Cor. 4:18)
So yes, sometimes I think my children would be better off with a trained nurse, a chef, a scholar, a philosopher, but God entrusted them to faulty, (though entertaining), me. And what is unseen is the fact that I am assisting in the great work of God in bringing my children to new birth; true life. And I'm being trained on the job.
PS Just a note, mustard plasters and cough suppressents are counter productive