Dave came home from Dallas on Sunday after an exhausting trip moving his friend there. We flew to Hawaii on Monday morning. Dave also got sick that day. Tuesday he got a terrible sunburn. I mentally constructed a post entitled, "When Paradise Isn't".
I sat at the beach for hours and hours, and at night when Dave and the kids went to bed at seven, I stared into the darkness and thought, and thought, and thought.
I thought about this life I lead and I evaluated how much of it is lived for self as opposed to what is lived for God. I thought about all the beautiful scenery before me and how it is a reflection of the God who created it. I thought about my favorite scenery of all, my family. They can stand in front of anything and make it beautiful.
I couldn't help but think about old Hawaii, what it would have looked like, smelled like, sounded like. I could look at the highway and imagine it away, and picture instead an old trail through the wind blown grasses, the roar of breakers unceasing, the heady scent of flowers.
I thought about family and friends, and those I consider both. My children's wealth of cousins is a great joy to me.
I thought about a woman's role in ministry after her baby/pregnancy days are done. I thrashed out the desire all women have, to be used in ministry, and their insecurity how best to pursue that.
I thought about my marriage and how my world turns upside down when my husband ails. It is so much easier to face life with his loving, giving heart by my side. When he was in his tired/sick/sunburned fog, I could barely face the day, even in Hawaii. My prayers were half moan, half battle-hymn, and I prayed much.
On Saturday, 5 l-o-n-g days later, he started feeling better. My smile returned. The vertical line between my eyebrows disappeared. I stopped thinking quite so much.
I had different adventures in mind for this trip. But God took me to a place where I could think, pray, reflect on His creation, and ponder my place in His work. I had my sister-in-law and my husband (the last 5 days) to stimulate thought and His beauty to stimulate praise.