Retraction Revised

My mother gave her full permission for this post. After she read it, she laughed hysterically and then made moose grunts and chased me up the path to my house. So for those of you who have contacted me hinting that I'm cruel and that my mother should be made a Saint.... No, I'm not cruel, this is our humor. And yes, she should be made a Saint.  Actually she already is. A Saint with a sense of humor.

I stated a few weeks ago that I had my doubts if my mother ever changed my sheets.
She was not happy with this statement.
She assured me that she changed my sheets weekly.
She washed them in the Alaskan river while keeping a sharp look-out for bears and moose.
In the winter she had to first break the ice on the river to get down to the water, all the while keeping a sharp look-out for hunters, as she was wearing her parka and looked like a fuzzy cub.
She assured me of this adamantly.
I would hint of exaggeration here except I know that it's possible she picked up some moves from the aforesaid bears and moose. I also know she's in training and I'm a little scared of her.

Do you blame me????