Saturday, January 8, 2011


After the last post, I went upstairs exhausted by my transparency. I turned off the lights and jumped into bed. I did not however meet the soft flannel sheet I had anticipated. I landed on a magna-doodle (this may not be the technical name). Light back on. The magna-doodle had a sketch of a little boy and a mama, both with abnormally large bellybuttons, holding hands. Underneath was written, "I love you Mom. You are such a good mother." Accompanying this was a chocolate coin and a piece of paper echoing the magna-doodle sentiments.

I grinned and went to get a piece of paper out of my desk to return the compliment. I opened an unused drawer and found paper and a little book. The book was a 365 day booklet of questions. I had given it to my dad ten years ago. I asked him, to answer a question a day, so that Grant could have a keepsake of the grandpa he was named after. I put this book away after my dad's funeral 4 1/2 years ago.

I couldn't help but open it. I couldn't help but laugh. For example, I opened to....

June 23, Did you ever go skinny-dipping?
"I can not remember doing that. I did walk across the creek in my bare feet."

June 1, Tell about a strange person that lived in your town.
"Bad eye Salutsky -all I know- he was bad."

April 26, Did you ever take anything that wasn't yours?
"Get behind me Satan."

November 7, Did you ever see a President or a Vice-President in person?
"Today is Gloria's birthday. Happy Birthday Gloria."
You can see the quirkiness we loved and tolerated in turn. Grant has many of his grandpa's quirks but he also inherited something else....a love for his mommy. My dad loved his mother so much so that my mother felt moving to Alaska soon after they were married would be in the best interests of everyone. So I have come to cherish this in Grant and accept it as hereditary. He asked me at five, repeatedly, to marry him. I replied by rote, that I was already married to daddy. Once after a pause, he ventured, "Who do you think is going to die first?" That's just the way he is.
But it's surprised me these last few months to find that Rowan is also developing this trait. It may possibly come from watching Grant. His little heart is turning to me with new depths of devotion. Last night while we sat in front of the fire, Avonlea read out loud to us, and Rowan snuggled close. His hand found the back of my neck and he pulled my ear to his mouth and whispered, "Mommy, if you die on the road, I'm going to lie down next to you and die too. I never want to be apart from you."
I have a premonition that both of my sons will live far away with their wives and that it will be in the best interests for all involved. Honestly, I wouldn't trade this son-love for anything in the world. If they learn to transfer it to a woman, some gal is going to be very cherished. If they learn to transfer it to God, watch out.

So even now, I think ahead, but I also savor. Who wouldn't? There won't always be magna-doodles in my bed and a boy's love is a precious thing.

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